We all bleed

It is hot and humid today...it is stifling like wading through invisible warm untangible cotton-wool. The city itself seems sluggish...a bizarre comment to make about NYC! It has been a week since CSD-18 Ended. I use a capital "E" because it deserves one. It was an event that I hope to remember for a very long time....


It has given me a completely new perspective on what I am doing. My time in NYC, my personal goals and the path that I was following. I had arrived in New York City in December full of great dreams, hoping to see most of them realized but pragmatic (or cynical-based on your personal perspective) enough to know that they would fall short. Most of my wild imaginings were fulfilled. I got the position I hoped for when I arrived in JFK on the 8th of December in a daze. MY secret hopes were realized and to an extent that few people grasp. But the reality of my secret hopes (aka goals) left me feeling a little disillusioned, a little discriminated against and a little left out. It has been hard establishing (to myself) that the world is not going to change no matter how far I travel. It has been a challenge to acknowledge that I have to change if I want the world to treat me fair. The only way to achieve what I believe I need to, to do what I feel I must and to make even a tiny change in the perceptions of those people around me is to become a better me. But at the same time, a major part of me rebels at the thought...even articulating makes me feel dirty. Yet, it is reality. People judge. Prejudice exists. Is it right...no! Can it be abolished...yes! But can it be abolished over night....no. 

Controversial though my statement may be (and I wish reality was different). It is true. Prejudice is ingrained. It has been drilled into the very core of who we are as a society. And it scares me. I wasn't expecting as much prejudice as I have encountered since I arrived in the USA. I do not know why I did not expect it. I have watched TV. I have listened to the news. Yet, racist comments still manage to shock me, to take me aback. Why? I don't know. It isn't like Ireland is completely prejudice free or that Tanzania lacked Stereotypying / prejudice. But the fact that I encounter it to such levels in the middle of NYC....one of the most multicultural places I have ever lived...floors me repeatedly. I cannot (it feels) stop being shocked or astonished by the comments that people make. that the conclusions that are drawn. Or by the double standards that I witness against others due to their race, ethnicity, accent, skin colour, physical appearance, or orientation. It originally amused me when I was not invited somewhere because the host thought I was "black" because it was surreal. Then it saddened and angered me. 

In direct contrast, CSD-18 Youth Caucus made me feel like humanity can be unified. That we are all the same human family. That the artificially constructed labels or barriers that other people create to discriminate, stereotype pre-judge or seperate us seem not to exist. Or perhaps I was just too carried away by the flow to notice the snags? I hope that my version was correct because it gave me something that I have been missing lately.... 


Hope and Faith and Trust.

It showed me that the next generation can work together simultaneously with a unified vision. That the scope of our advocacy is only limited by our own personal barriers (shyness, fear, misunderstandings, lack of communication or personal egos). But the message of hope shone through. Because we did not know each other and the only thing we had in common was our vision of change. We had all come to the Commission on Sustainable Development to articulate the need for global solutions to global problems. To stress that act local think global or act global think local isn't working. There need to be more enforceable guidelines, there needs to be better processes, the time to act is now before it is too late because it isn't too late YET! 

That is a powerfully hopeful concept. To realise that we are killing the one thing we rely on as a human race to survive (our planet) inorder to make our immediate circumstances better. That we are consuming for the sake of consuming without investigating the source of our products. I loved the fact that CSD and NPT overlapped because they are both examples of global governance dilemma's. And the events illustrated the power of a holistic view regarding aspects that we are in denial about...climate change, nuclear disarmament, and financial crisis are things that require global solutions. It is no longer a time where national governments can merely solve national problems and consider their jobs done. It is becoming a time where globalisation forces the reality of global governance requiring a normative, enforceable aspect to assist all of us. It is becoming undeniable. At least to me...

The faith aspect is harder to articulate (at least in a blog). Is it enough to say that because I have now got hope that things will get better / I now have faith that humanity will be forced to change? I know that this is a simplistic statement. Faith for me has always been a challenge. But it is invigorating, inspiring and energizing to be feel like you are minuscule part of a much bigger change. It is amazing to be the grain of sand that is being pushed along as it flew out of a bit of coral and into the current. That image illustrates the immense power of the change but not the empowerment that I feel. Being a part of a group of Youth who were willing to allow me to be myself...without forcing me to conform to their image of me and without limiting me based on their preconceived false image of me was freeeeeeeeeeeeeing!

It has just struck me that if you have read so far....you probably consider me to be living in a xenophobic place where I am regularly forced to do insane things due to prejudice. I would like to reassure you that that is not the case. I am merely a witness to a few (very few) unconscious or blatent expressions of negative taught / embedded behavior that should be unacceptable everywhere but that exists.


 I know that in the USA there are strict laws against discrimination. But laws cannot and do not change mentality overnight. They just provide some minor level of protection for the object. That is our challenge. It is the Youth and Children who have to take on the responsibility to control our own perceptions and to prevent ourselves from being contaminated with hatred in whatever form.


It is time to invest in peace. It is time to change ourselves so that the future generations will have less prejudice.

I suppose one aspect of this situation / problem that baffled me the most was the self pity (for things that had happened generations previously), the guilt (again, for things that had happened generations before and that you had not direct control over) or almost retaliatory comments against people who just happen to have been the same race as your forefather oppressors. I was shocked when someone came up to me at the UNPFII and said..."White people like you are the reason I live in a marsh". I felt like replying...I grew up in Cork (Corcaigh, pronounced [ˈkˠorkˠɪɟ]—from corcach meaning "swamp") in Ireland...I suppose that is your fault? I don't blame the English for forcing my ancestors to live under ground by taxing their windows and doors....neither do I blame them for the famine (I realise some Irish still do). But somehow I didn't think the man who had been complaining that UN security had confiscated his knife (Personally, that made me feel a little safer) would appreciate my attempt at humor. I also doubted that he would be impressed if I blamed him for the famine or Ireland's colonization....so I said nothing. But the fact that he blamed his problems on me...a complete stranger...baffled me. 

However, I love the fact that the Youth Caucus showed me that humanity is truly one family. We have the capacity to work together, we have the ability to change, to investigate or question things around us for ourselves. That is liberating! But please do not dismiss me as being overly optimistic or naive. I know we have a lot to achieve, I am aware of the barriers to change but I believe that seeing the barriers makes it easier to destroy them. It is the hidden, silent, unspoken hidden barriers that are more pervasive and harder to tackle systematically.